I want to be a Billionaire

I want to be a Billionaire…

This summer has not been stellar for me.   It seems that lately my appetite for more is in one word
…. insatiable.

     In the last month I have wanted, needed, and pitched fits for:  a new house, a Land Rover, an Armada, a Pathfinder, new clothes, another beach trip, a pool, and new furniture.
Ridiculous!  So much so that Gary actually asked me one night lately, “What is wrong with you?” 

       To my discredit, the only answer I could come up with was, “I don’t know, maybe my early mid- life crisis?”  Not a very good option in my opinion, but it is the only one I have!

        We compare what we have with what others have, and find ourselves lacking.  It is on every channel, and in every store.  We live in the most affluent country on the planet , and yet no one seems to know how to  define...enough.

Especially this girl….

This was pointed out to me at the strangest place this week...  A yard sale.

      Just like everybody else in America, I love a good yard sale!  I enjoy sifting through someone else’s treasures.  It is actually fun to have one on your own, but it is so much more fun to do it for a worthy cause. Saturday we had a yard sale for Missions.  We were working to raise money for the Rwandan Mission team and the teaching and training of pastors there.

It was an epic failure!

 Let me clarify…..the yard sale was a success, the failure was all mine.

      In preparation, I sifted through mounds of stuff.  I went to others and asked them for their stuff.  I even hit up my girls.  I gave both of them a bag and told them to fill it up.   Their instructions were clear; Go find things that they no longer wanted and give it “to help others.”

Such a noble cause.

  Like all yard sales, Saturday began  very early.  We priced things to move!  Practically giving away items just to raise a buck, but mostly to get rid of the stuff.

       At one point when things were going well, I told Gary I had a brilliant idea.  “Let’s take some pictures so that the people in Rwanda can see how hard everyone has to work just to get to go over there.”

  It sounded good in my head, but once it came out….not so much.Gary said simply, “Think about that one. How is that going to work?” (Yes, it is extremely difficult being married to Dr. Phil!)

 I looked around and realized something; we were selling all of the excess things that we no longer wanted  to aid them in acquiring...... water, and shoes, and maybe an extra clean shirt.”

Would those precious people that I needed to impress with my picture  even understand excess?   

More importantly why do I get to?

      It was finally beginning to sink in when Jean, our friend and pastor, from Rwanda came outside. He was present at the yard sale witnessing a true taste of Americana.

I approached him.  I just had to know what he thought of this scene.  Knowing he was intrigued on a previous visit to America about simple things like ice, I just had to know what this event looked like to him.

His answer stopped me cold. I was speechless.  He looked around at all of our unwanteds.  The excess someone was going to throw away, the things that no one valued anymore, and said

                     “If I had all of this, I would be a billionaire.”

Convicted, I had no response.  I had to just walk away. I have been so blessed, but rarely ackowledge it.

 Why did the man from Africa have to point out my wealth to me?   

Why is enough  just not enough anymore? We have so many things that we (the Millraneys) can’t even manage it all.  We spend our days cleaning up all of the extras. I fall over the toys that are sprawled out all over the floor, the ones that no one seems to value enough to pick up. 

         Most people like me are overtaken by the mountain of clothes needing to be washed, yet we need more.

 Let’s just get real here…..I need more.

What I needed was perspective.   

     I am reading a book about a lady who made decisions about removing wasteful spending from the family.  She picked out 7 areas and began to make changes. 

     Now, unlike the book, I am not going to give away all of our possessions.  but something has to change in our home. 

     I fuss about my girls showing appreciation, but is anyone teaching them?  If you are given your every whim (which they are for the most part) how do you learn to value anything?  When I tell you to pick up your room and you come out with a trash bag and say, “Just give it all away Mommy. I can’t pick it all up and put it away” (Yes, that happened!)

 I believe that is an unmistakable sign of overindulgence.

              You see, my failure on Saturday was an ungrateful heart.  More disheartening than that is teaching and modeling an ungrateful heart to my girls. I have been sucked into a culture which creates a desire for more.  Even my little girls have been a victim and will protest about hearing  the word "No."  I have given in to the fascade not because it was right, but because it is easier.

 I am refusing to do the hard things because well,

                …  they are hard.

I don’t have a concrete plan yet, but God is leading my heart to change. I am listening and hopefully I will somehow figure all of this out.

Which leads me back to my desire.   I still want to be a billionaire, that didn't change.  Now it is  just a different kind. I am praying for riches that cannot be bought or sold.  I am longing for a satisfied soul that is not the product of material things. 

Oh! and one more thing…. He didn’t mean to do it, but he showed me something.   My friend from Africa and his perspective about my waste has shown me what it means to be “the richest man in town.”