Trumped

“Niki, I am going back to Africa again.” I heard his words and I just stared at my sweet husband.

“What?”  

"Why?"

“You do know that this trip is right before Spring Break, the most crazy week we get.
 It is during school  which is a no- no for long trips when you are married to a teacher).... and we have my  dreamed- of- for- years vacation planned for Spring Break."

I protested, but then logic and reason won out.

 If it is for the Kingdom of God, then who am I to argue?

As the trip got closer, I peppered him with more and more questions. 

What if? 
Ok, I admit it, I never had a peace about his going. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. He has been on longer trips, even longer to Africa, but I never really settled it in my heart that he was really going to go this time.


Now, I have been married to him for almost 20 years and being a minister.... he goes a lot.

 There was just something, a cloud over this one that I couldn't shake.

One night we actually got into a loud exchange of opposing views( I. e WW3) about all of my questions. I usually just say, “ Be safe and come home when you finish, but this time I fired off every question I could think of.

 My one concern this time was his safety. I wasn't convinced no matter what he tried to say  that he was going to be ok.  My heart just couldn't let that 
fear go.

          Which brings me to Ashton...

We have another sweet young lady in our family, her name is Ashton.

 Ashton has always been my "first daughter" ( I guess my practice one), even though I didn't give birth to her.  She was born in my heart and I love her just like she is my very own.

 Ashton has always been adventursome ( to say the least).   As she grew I knew she would not be reigned in, so I didn't even try.

 After college Ashton lived in Mali, Africa for a while serving in the Peace Corps.

 I protested to her one night about all of my concerns about Gary going to Africa again.

I was sure that since she lived the danger,  she would take my side and tell him to stay put.

 She listened and said,

 “You taught me one time that God's protection is everywhere.”

She just had to throw that back in my face.    :)

I had resolved all of the issues except one. Who would help? “Who is there to help you if something happens? What are you going to do if you get sick, or hurt, or lose your paper work?”

   It was my Big One.   That was my trump card.  Protection!

I never did get an answer from my annoyed husband about that one.

He got on the plane and the girls and I  went on with life.

 Little to no contact with him for days when he is out of the country is hard.  Silence is not golden..... most of the time it is frightening.

Then one day the phone rang. Gary had his passport stolen and needed me to somehow help him get home. 


  I immediately called Ashton.  I was sure with all of her Peace Corps training  that she would be the one who knew exactly what to do.


 I spent the next 6 hours on the phone working with people to get him home.  The plan was dangerous- to say the least.  He would have to cross borders, bribe people and all the while try not to get shot.

The U.S. embassy had promised that if he could get to a certain check point that they would send an extraction team to get him out.


A real life Mission Impossible/ Burn Notice all in one.

My worst fear was coming true .

I knew the process that he would be dangerous.  I did get to hear his voice again.  I begged for another contact.  An email, a phone call, someone who had seen him alive and could tell me where he was, anything.


 I eventually got my wish.  I did get to hear his voice again. He was nervous and I could hear it.  


.....And Gary doesn't get nervous.  He is a cool cucumber, you can't rattle him.  You just can't.
( and that was the scariest part)




His request was simple.  This is all going to start at a certain time so you need to pray.  Do NoT stop until I call you.  It will be around 6 hours where my very life will be in danger.

.......so I prayed the whole night. I started when I knew he would begin, and I prayed until I heard he was safe.

After the course of several events ( too many to go into here, but it's a great story if you ever get him to tell it), he was given his passport back. At 4:30 in the  morning I got a text that said he was safe in Rwanda and going to get on a plane to come home!

 I sat there and cried.

 I was exhausted.  I completely collapsed, but I heard God very clearly in all this:

“What  now?”

" Is that all you got?"  

 “ Next please.”

 “What other situation do you think I can't handle?”

 Niki, when you surrendered your lives to me, it had nothing to do with location. Why would you think that you are safer in the U.S. than in Africa serving ME?

 You are safe in MY hands. The Hands that hold everything. The Ones that created planets, stars, and even your very life. "

I am so glad that God puts up with me and all my doubts.  HE can take my biggest fear and dissolve it.  No matter what I come up with, HIS answer is still the same. 

......"You cannot be snatched out of my hands."

!

On Wheels....

I got to be thirteen again .... and I loved every minute of it!

For some unknown reason I have had a wild hair for about a week. Somewhere in my messed up mind, I needed to go roller-skating. I  needed the lights, the wind in my hair, and of course... “Supersonic” at a deafening level. I even tried to coerce two different friends to go with me. Being the voices of reason that I so desperately need, they both said “NO.” 

This was a disaster waiting to happen.

Now, Lindsey has been skating before, exactly-once. But, my little Anna Kate has never. She has never seen, or put on, the ugly, brown, four- wheeled, throw away your socks when you are finished and disinfect your feet skates. It was TIME for her to experience this right of childhood.

  I started off VERY apprehensive about the whole thing. I had a girl who could barely stand, and another who got out of the car, and in the parking lot decided that she would just sit it out altogether.

Not exactly a good start.

After convincing Anna Kate to walk into the building, she found her some courage. I, on the other hand, swallowed hard. I stood there knowing this could be a grand childhood memory or a massive therapy bill one day.


To say the least, we learned some valuable lessons that afternoon:

 Skates only work if you put them on.
It took a long while for Anna Kate to decide that she would skate. She watched, waited ,and she wondered about the sanity of all of this. You could read on her face the thoughts going through her little head . Why would we even try this when our two legs were just fine? I could see the struggle as she began thinking about riding a skateboard, playing a game,etc when she had to try something new  and it was good.  Remembering the difference between fine and fabulous.... and, in the end, she chose fabulous!

YOU make the skates work.
Lindsey put her skates on, then proceeded to start complaining. She insisted that they were faulty
and wanted new ones. She protested very loudly about how they wouldn't “go.” Now, keep in mind that she was just standing still during her relatively long tirade. She just stood there waiting for some magic to happen. I told her “There is no ON switch on skates my dear, you must move your feet in order for this to work.” Eureka! She started moving her feet and to her surprise, skating.

Instructions are no fun , but necessary.

The rink guard saw my girls skating and had a few things to say to them. He was a nice man who had some suggestions for them. AK looked at him and said “ I am doing good. I don't need you.” he smiled and said.... “Sweetheart, listen to me, I have done this a while and if someone is trying to help you , pay attention. They might make it a whole lot easier on you."  -  good advice

 Everyone starts off slowly.
I finally lured Anna Kate onto the rink. She was holding onto me for dear life. I had to gently explain to her that she would never ever skate until she learned to let go of me. She kept her eyes on me, or the skates, for our first few laps around the circle. Then it happened. She saw the other skaters and got just plain mad. She yelled at me to “Let go, she could do it. She didn't need me, or my help.” She wanted to go fast like everybody else. Much to her disappointment, that was not a very sound decision with her level of skill. She, of course fell, and fell, and fell. In her enthusiasm, to be something she wasn't, she skipped the basics,and all that left her was frustrated.


You can't go to the bathroom, on wheels, without lots of practice.

The inevitable happened. Someone always has to go to the bathroom. I knew that if the carpet was
difficult, and the rink even harder, then peeing on wheels could result into an epic nightmare. I wouldn't let her even try. I made her sit down and completely take off the
skates, put back on her shoes, and then go. It was a simple,everyday task, but throw in a new variable.... and everything changes. Sometimes wisdom, and experience must win out. This was a
“ Because I am the mother” moment. She didn't need all the details, just an obedient heart would save her a lot of pain and embarrassment.

Distraction can also make it dangerous.

We finally arrived at some stability. Both girls were up, and moving on their own when crowd began to grow. What was once a dimly lit room, morphed into a thirteen year old's dream; the strobe lights, loud music, and the floor flooding with preteens. Everything began to change. Getting caught up in the distractions started to interfere with their attention and skill. The lights and music and people were exciting, but somewhat unsafe on their skill level.

  Everyone falls down, skaters get back up

I looked up once and saw Lindsey on the ground. I went to her, but she just laid there. I dried her
tears, and tried to pull her back up. I couldn't.   I had to coach her, but she had to do it. I told her to get up..... and she said “No.” she was done and she was just going to stay there. I told her that this was
a skating rink ,not a sitting rink …. “skaters skate, now get up.” She finally decided that sitting there wasn't going to accomplish anything so she picked herself up and started again.

Sometimes it takes a while to get your balance

I had a hard time at first getting MY feet back under me. It honestly took a few times around the circle
before my body remembered what to do. I couldn't even begin to help,or encourage, much less teach, until I could do it without assistance.

  Beginning anything, with falling as your goal, is never going to be a good plan.

The DJ decided to play a game. Wipeout! Poor Lindsey is always the joiner. She will try anything
without fear. I warned her, but she was determined. Not knowing the rules, or even watching just once, she jumped right in.  She realized all too quickly,  this game hurts.
 
Being a mom and Skating have more similarities than you think.

As I think back, I can see it. My job as a mother, and every stage,was represented on the rink that afternoon. My babies started off needing me on so many levels, Not even taking a step without my
help. Then, little by little, they learned to stand for themselves. With instruction, and practice, they began to let go. They ran into some difficult situations. Some I could coach them through, and some
I just had to let them figure out on their own. 


Now, my girls are very young still, and we have a lifetime of lessons to endure. But it occurred to me as I removed this “too-old-to-roller-skate-body” off the rink, that they were in the middle of the floor dancing, singing and smiling. They were loving every minute of it. Doing what we came to do.

Without me.....

 I pray that one day their life will be like that. One day they will find themselves in the midst of the noise of life. One day they will be ready let go.

Right now is...... the hard part. The painful, back- breaking instructions, the trying, falling, and getting back up part.

But....
All this work will be for that moment.... the moment when I get to see them, confident, self- assured, and in love with the moments that God will give them. Enjoying their adventure, while fulfilling God's plan for their life.

and  I can't wait for that moment---- (Jam-on-it!)