Why I Agree with...

“Why I Raise my Kids without God.”

Dear Mother of Two,

As I read your blog the other night, I found myself agreeing with you more than expected. You see, I am a pastor's wife and  on so many points, all I could respond with was, “I can see how I could somewhat agree with her."

Please indulge me as I explain...

1. God is a bad parent and role model.

I can see how you would feel that way. In our society, God is a bad parent. We are living in a generation where “good parenting” is permissive parenting. We encourage kids to “find themselves” in a self-absorbed quest for “ME”. We tell them that the world is their stage and they are the show. God says “ No!” He demands discipline, respect, honor, and holiness.

As far as a role model, a model must have the propensity to be replicated. Check those credentials, It can't be done.

2. God is not logical.

You are so right. Logical people make sense. There is an order and predictability to their actions, It would be ridiculous to think that the Creator would choose to redeem HIS creation with HIS own child.... just because.

 3. God is not fair.

Again, you are correct. What is fair anyway? It means in accordance with the rules. The Maker of the rules did not change the rules just to placate us. Fair would be allowing our eternal separation. Fair would be allowing HIS creation to get what we deserve. Fair would be an existence with no hope, or help, or Savior.

4. God does not protect the innocent.

True again. HE does not protect the innocent ...because we are all guilty. Born a sinner in need of a Savior. What HE does protect is His promise to never leave us or forsake us if we trust HIM.

5. God is not present.

If you look up the definition of present it says “in the moment”. God is not present. He is not merely “in the moment.” He is the Alpha and Omega, beginning and end, first and last. Time begins and ends at his command. You may call HIM what you will, but please don't regulate my God to simply being... present.

6. God Does Not Teach Children to Be Good

He teaches them to be godly. Good is subjective, based on perspective. Our standard has never been good , because you can never be good enough.

Now, what you said about religion, I'll take it one step further....I do want it to go away. Far away. So far away that I want my kids to understand it is opposite of what I want for them. I want them to have a relationship. Not a set of rules to follow or tasks to do. I long for my girls to know HIM and to be known by HIM.

Dear friend, You are right. Most of what we believe about God is inconsistent and illogical, but so are things like love, forgiveness, faith, dreams, or even the concept of home. If you are going to throw out God, then you must throw all of those things to which we cling.

The one point where we must part ways is your last. You say that you understand why other people “need” God, you just don't have that need. I just don't see how anyone can survive without HIM. My friend, the mere fact that you have put so much effort and time into your rebuke about the things of God shows me how close you are to figuring this whole thing out.

I don't judge you because honestly, I don't know you. I have never spent one minute with you. I have never sat at your feet and poured my soul out to you. You have not been with me on my darkest nights or held me until the light broke through. You were not there at my first breath and you will not be there at my last. My future is not in your hands. I don't know you.

But I do know HIM.

I can 't explain HIM. I won't even try. Just like I can't explain love, forgiveness, motherhood, or what it feels like when you can't take one more step- and then you do. I don't know how to put into words the ONE who authored history. I can't make you hear the call of the ONE who created sound. I can't teach your heart to see things your eyes cannot.

But I can introduce you to HIM, because I know HIM.

~ if you ever want to meet HIM, I can introduce you. He even knows my name.

Niki

If You Are Missing Jesus

 If you are missing Jesus.....

Last weekend I had a moment.  An absolute fit about the Holidays.  The same fit we all have this time of year about the mixing of secular and sacred. The battle against the commercialism  has put me in a humbug sort of mood.  You see, in my futile attempt to have more Nativity sets than Santas in our home, I think I am part of this whole problem.

  For me, It began with a simple statement about Jesus' birth.

           “Everything is different, but nothing has changed.”

Think about that for a minute.  In all of the advances of the current age, the human condition has not improved. The year is 2012 and we are still as lost as those searching for their own idea of a king.

 We know what we think we are looking for, and just like that story, we are met with less hoopla and grandeur that anticipated.

We argue of Christmas, Santa, and the like ….. but  how are we still missing it?


I got to thinking about our own celebrating and I started questioning even myself.   Was Christmas ever really supposed to be just about Jesus birth?

 How did it become a cosmic birthday party?  Wasn't  the focus supposed to be about an indescribable gift?

Is that the reason for all of the frustration of the season?  Could it be that in our celebration of the story,  we missed the present?

  Here's a question for you....Is a gift still a gift if you don't take it?

Imagine what would happen if someone bought you a present, and set it on the shelf with instructions to open it.

........... if you want it.

You know it is there,  but it is still not yours because you didn't take it.

 I don't know about you, and maybe I am weird, but I don't normally attend birthday parties for people I don't know.  Isn't that what we are expecting others to do?

We have shifted our focus from a Jolly Ole St. Nick to the stable in hopes that we capture the wonder again.

But, I am beginning to realize something about Christmas.

 In the middle of celebrating HIS birth...... We are still missing HIM.

  We draw close to the scene. We gaze into the barn, listen for angels to sing. We watch as Mary gives birth to Jesus.  We sing songs about Silent Night,  but then we look away.

 I think that the meaning of Christmas is lost because the focus is on the manger. We celebrate the past,  but we do not acknowledge its place in the present.  We make Christmas about an event that happened, instead of something that is happening.

Do we even invite Jesus to His own party?  We talk about who HE was and what HE did...  instead of who HE is and what HE is doing.

  The gift of Christmas is not in the birth, but what HIS birth allows...

Isaiah  7:14

Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign:

The virgin will  conceive and give birth to a son,

  and will call him Emmanuel.

Not Jesus born among us........

Not Savior who died and rose for us...... But God with US.


We are not just missing baby Jesus this Holiday Season.

We are not missing the meaning of Christmas...... We are missing Christ.

What is wrong with the whole world today?

  The same thing that is wrong with Christmas.

                             ......We left Jesus in the stable.

Not everything is for sale...

She was just a little girl maybe 7 or 8 years old. She had gone on an adventure with her Poppy to visit the local gun store. In that small country town, most times it was the only adventure around.

She walked in and everyone could see that she saw it.

There, hanging on the wall was a life-size rug with a picture of John Wayne.

Her eyes lit up and so did the owner of the store's face. In his amazement, he stood there watching her. It was so hard to believe in this day and age that a little girl still even had heroes

... much less John Wayne.

She wanted it so badly. Her heart was set and her Poppy did what only a Poppy would do.....anything to make a little girl smile.

Poppy's solution, "Just name your price."

The shop owner shook his head and simply said, "Sorry, it wasn't for sale."

Heartbroken, the little girl lowered her head. He looked at her sympathetically and then he told her, "I will not sell it to you, but I will give it to you. When I sell this place, it is yours."

In the years that past, several came in and made offers to buy it. It was even once stolen right off the wall. It was returned after the sheriff explained again..... that rug already had an owner.

Well, days turned to years, and health began to fail. Decisions were made that officially began the end of an era in that little town. Blow's Gun Shop would be sold. The store, the business, the contents, everything was to be included in the sale except one item....the rug on the wall.

It was not for sale.

Papers were signed and the day came for the shop to change hands. All the details were complete and seemingly final, but the man still had one thing left to do.

Just a few days before Thanksgiving you could see him walking up the driveway. His gait a little slower, but his mission was as evident as the smile on his face. He knew the little girl would be coming for the holidays and he had one last thing to do.

His task......to deliver a promise.


He pulled the rug out from under his arm and said,

"This.... belongs to Lindsey."


This year I am thankful for heroes, ones who keep promises made to little girls. I am thankful that she still believes that a man is as good as his word because that is the world that she knows.


That sweet gun shop owner is a living example that no matter the price....

some things are just not for sale.

What an incredible gift Mr. Harold Blow gave my daughter that day.....

Oh, and he gave her the rug too. ;)

Within Arm's Reach

Her name is Anna.

That is the only other thing I know about her. It is kinda sad really. We literally spent days together.

We laughed, she watched me cry, she saw me pray, she watched me walk out when I just couldn't take it anymore.

She was always …..there.

When alarms would sound or questions arise, she was the voice of calm during a very unnerving time.  Anna had never met my family. She knew nothing of the “Argos.” She had no knowledge of our history or our story. She was simply the nurse assigned to care for my mom.

She was more than a medical professional tending to the needs of the sick, Anna was amazing.

She knew just what to do, and just what to say in those long days sitting, simply waiting. There is no doubt in my mind that one of the most lonely places in the world is in a hospital room.

She would encourage me, teach me, and lead me back again to hope. When fear or doubt would begin to creep in, she knew at that moment how to chase it away.

She taught me how to feed my mom when she couldn't even eat. She would stay right beside me when I told her I was scared .…...because mom would choke on everything.

She would even sit there with mom so we could leave the room. She would say “ I won't leave her, I promise.”

She was entertained by our family stories when she knew we needed to laugh. She would listen as we recounted God's faithfulness because she knew WE needed to hear it again ….outloud.

Oh, and she melted my daddy's heart. She would tolerate his banter, and his sometimes seemingly stubbornness, just to pull me aside and tell me what a rare love we were in the presence of.

I said “other” thing, because I know this one thing about Anna. She is a minister. She exemplified being “ the hands and feet of Jesus.”

                My family was the mission field that week, and she was the missionary.

I guess this is the first time I can remember, in a long time, when the mission field was.... me.

        I have heard it all my life. I have even done it....with gusto! We commission missionaries, we go on mission trips, we plan for projects in the name of the Great Commission.... and I support it.

       But, I think there is more to it.  When I look at the life of Jesus, the daily accounts are when the ministry took place.  It was in the "ordinariness" of his Divinity that HE touched people.  We don't see him going farther than about 40 miles from home, but when HE went, he was on purpose, and changed everything with His presence.

      A life on mission. A different way to view each day with purpose. To wake up and look around at the world God has placed me in and ask myself this question...

" How can I bless another in such a way that they want hear about the Jesus I have found?”

I think they call it "Lifestyle Evangelism."  I just call it real life, with a real Savior, serving real needs in the real world.

    To not get so bogged down in the tasks of the day that I miss my mission field.

            That may mean in the middle of Wal-mart, in the drive thru at McDonalds,  at the church, or even in my own kitchen.....those are my mission fields.

Let's face it...It is easy to be Jesus and proclaim His name to strangers who have never seen you have a bad day.

           It is much more difficult to ask your child's forgiveness when you both know you have royally screwed up.

Honestly, for me, it is easier to go on a mission project half-way around the world than to be Jesus in my own classroom.

                                   The cost is simply greater in the daily.

“Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria and then the utmost parts of the earth....” Acts 1:8

I think God purposefully put the instructions in that order because ….well, that is the hard way.

 He knew that we had to get the difficult parts down first.

         The calling of mission is for us all. The ministry lifestyle is corporate. We are all on mission with each choice we make. We wake up everyday with the unbelievable opportunity to “ Go into all the world.....”

Go to your Jerusalem first, wherever that may be.

Remembering that sometimes “the world”  begins within your own arm's reach.

A Long Obedience

A Long Obedience...

            I was cleaning out the garage recently, and I found something.... Gary’s Seminary diploma!

Seminary!  One of the most trying times in the story of Gary and NIki.

             That was the chapter where we had to figure out if the fairy tale would have a happy ending, or would be just chuck it all and move on.

 Honestly, it could have gone either way.

              I was so shocked.  That was a definitive chapter is our life. We can’t deny that it happened, or the cost incurred (and I am not just talking about money) but now 20 years later, it was just a piece of paper.

            It was a worthy endeavor, a treasure of life lessons, a great memory…. but it is a monument.

 

Lately, I have had two images thrown into my face almost every single day. 

Monuments vs. footprints.

A monument represents an event.    A footprint represents the journey. 

A monument; a testimony to the past.   In the Bible God would tell people to remember. He instructed people to set up a monument to look back to on those days when they couldn’t go any further.  A remembrance, a record of what once was.

            These images have really started me thinking.

What IS more important?  That it once happened, or that you are doing something with it?

 

I had a wedding. vs. Marry me everyday.

I gave birth to a child. vs. I am a mother.

God told me something then. Vs.  I heard Him today.

Even something as important as Salvation….. if it stays where you found it and you never do anything with it….Did it change you?

 

I see people everyday who are living the present on what happened in the past.   

Every single decision is colored by something that was once, but is no more.  

Blessings, tragedy, heart-break or ordinary, the life we live today, dictated by life then. Let’s get real here; I have been guilty of making today’s decisions based on monuments from experiences in my past. For whatever reason, the once was….. overshadowed the what is.

But,

 God called the Christian life: a race, a path, a forward motion.  He never once told us to set up camp.  There is nowhere I can find where we are told to “Stop.”  

                        A footprint represents the journey.

Why would God tell us to set up markers, but keep going? I have struggled with these two images until God finally cleared it all up for me at such an odd place:

Children’s Camp.

            I actually went to a few this summer.  While I was there, I found myself reading a book about Footprints or Monuments.  I didn’t want to read it.   There was no shaking it. There was something inside the cover that I needed. It was just one of those times when I just had to take it with me.   

The title: A Long Obedience in the Right Direction.

            At camp, I sat in the back.  I saw them raise their hands in worship.  They were soaking it all in: the adventure, the fellowship, the fun.  I got to see them worship The Creator in the middle of HIS Creation.I watched them set up monuments in their memories; places to return to from time to time to try to recapture…. a feeling.

God began to show me that this journey is a long obedience…. A lifetime of steps …….in a single direction.   Some steps are slow, some are painful, but the nature of the steps is that they are continual.

 Sadly, I have seen so many stop walking when the monument is out of sight.  It gets hard to do the daily, to continue the journey when the way gets hard or (let’s just get real here)  when you don’t want to anymore.

 We are living life on what happened then. We articulate God from the past.  We say– 20 years ago I did this, or I saw God do this.

 We can testify to  a monument, but no record of a current journey.

              Monuments are just moments. They have a purpose, but can't be the focus.  Important to the story, but not the whole picture.  

When I look back on the events that I feel define me. I can’t help but see how if I had just stayed at any one of those places, I would just be a stone. 

            God has called us to a LONG Obedience.   A journey that ends at the Heart of God.

Dan is the Man!

          Anyone who knows the Millraney family knows we support Chic- Fil- A whole heartedly.  In all honesty, in our home, my girls think it is a food group.

           I have joked on more than one occasion that we should have our own wing at the Phenix City store ( j/k). We dearly love our friends, Todd and Lindsey ( the owners). 

   I have witnessed BOTH of my girls call each person behind the counter by their first name. I can’t tell you how many times some brave soul (JOE) has had to go rescue of them from the top of the play place.  I have even seen them go behind the counter and get something they needed. (don’t tell Todd!)

So, I guess what I am saying is this place is like “CHEERS” for my kids.

           With something so recognizable to them, I have to take this opportunity to talk to them about what has happened. It is so rare to get such an in-your- face object lesson.  A tangible reference point that they understand, to use to teach them the things of God.

The conversation was simple.  I told the girls, “He was asked a question, and he told what God said about it..... and people got mad.”

Seems pretty elementary to me.  My girls got it.  So I got to thinking, “Why doesn’t everybody?”
I found my answer. The reason that people are up in arms over all of this is because:

                   He didn’t tell the truth......... (let me explain)

Look at the definition:

Noun:

The quality or state of being true: "the truth of her accusation". That which is true or in accordance with fact or reality: "tell me the truth".

 Now, read that statement again:

                   That which is true or in accordance with reality.....

Now, calm down…. I believe the Bible is the Word of God.  I believe that Jesus is the Way, the TRUTH, and the life.  I will shout it from the mountains.

But that is the problem.  The world doesn’t.

In the Bible, it says that we are to be in the world, not of it.  God’s way will not be accepted. We live in a fallen world polluted by sin.

           A world where every view is skewed with someone’s reality.

Perception is reality…and that changes based on who you talk to. The reality of our world is that everyone has their own version of it.

And none of it is real. 

Where is absolute truth anymore anyway?  What happened to: God said it so we are supposed to follow it…..the End?

Better question…When did we get a voice in that conversation anyway?

Don't people realize that they are arguing with the Creator of the Universe....not the creator of the Chicken Sandwich?

We, as a nation, have gotten so far away from the things of God that we cannot even recognize them anymore.  We live in “Shades of Gray.” We fight for things we AGREE with.  Things that we FEEL are right. 

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” (Jer.17:9 KJV).

We take God and HIS word completely out of most equations. (or we twist it to make it say what we need.)

The fact is that the things of God and this world have always been…separated.

                       That is why Jesus sacrifice was needed.

God loved us so much that He wanted us with HIM. He sent the answer in Jesus.   That was the all inclusive part of the deal.  That is where God loved us all.....everyone. 

Yes, God tells us to love one another, not accept one another.

 The older I get the more I see that my generation has taken that to mean …accept everything.

                         Some things are just not acceptable.

In my opinion, Dan is the Man!

   What Mr. Cathy said wasn't unloving or arrogant. He answered a question based on what the Bible said, and he got the response that the Bible said he would get.

  He did love, and was criticized for it being offensive.

 Sometimes love is offensive.  The Bible itself is offensive......

.....but, so was the cross.

Tirade of a Mad Momma....

 Yesterday, I was sitting in the den with my little girl and we were taking a break from our Saturday chores.  We were watching an episode of a show that we have seen literally every day. My mouth dropped as a commercial came on about a new TV drama, and it showed two teenage girls making out.   

Please keep in mind that this was a Saturday afternoon at 3:00.

Completely sideswiped by that one, I realize very quickly that I just didn't know what to say.  I half-way hoped she missed it.  She waited a few seconds and I thought maybe we were safe when the inevitable happened. Confused, she looked at me and said,

"Mom, I didn't want to see that."

Now, I am not going to get into the debate about society, the state of our culture, or my pie-in-the-sky ideals on maintaining my child's innocence.

 But...

She is a blank slate on which to write, and frankly I did not want this to be the first sentence….on this subject.

 She is 7!  Boys are still icky, kissing is taboo, and she has already found her prince. She calls him daddy.

So, now this image is in her head along with questions that I wasn't prepared to answer at the age of 7.

 There are unspoken rules about what is acceptable in a public setting, and what is just too far.  Why, in the middle of a kid’s show did someone decide to put that in front of her eyes?

                                           I know why. 

    We are a culture in the process of excusing everything. 

De-sensitizing our children so that when they are older that they see no more absolutes about right or wrong. We are creating an anything goes society.    We tell everyone to be whatever and whoever they want to be.  We are told to accept even when the act is unacceptable by God’s standards.

It used to be this subject was about the inappropriateness of a male- female relationship and how it is portrayed on TV in ways that would make a grown woman blush.

 Now, we have gone one step farther.   It is that one step that is making the vulgarity of the former “not that bad.”

 I fondly remember when there was no need for ratings, or explanations about content.  You could enjoy a show without being “on guard.”  I remember even when TV commercials didn’t need ratings. 

Lets face it ...some of that stuff is just as bad as the shows themselves. 

Now it is getting to the point that I would just as soon not even have it on.

I know what you are saying, and I guess you are right. 

 I am a prude.

 But, I just can't promote the TV idea on relationships, dating, etc. as "a try- on- and- see –if- you- like- it- plan."   After years in youth ministry I can tell you without doubt: that is a recipe for disaster.

I have come to the conclusion that I am engaged in a full-on pursuit for my child’s heart. I want to protect the beauty and mystery of God’s design, while the world is doing everything possible to do just the opposite.

                                         So, now I am just mad!

 Mad at someone stealing something that I am trying so hard to protect.

 Mad about things that I can't control.

 Mad about society’s justification about changing times.

 

 

Mad about my daughter's innocence interrupted.

 Mad about the fact that no matter what I do or say....

                          I can’t get that moment back.

.