Esther Moments

  I have a tradition, I have done it for 11 years.   I don't share it.  It is private.... until now.

The night before school, when the world is finally quiet, I go to my classroom.  Some years I  have had to crawl through a window, but I always got in. I will work until I am ready...  Until everything is finished.  Sometimes it gets very late, but Gary knows...... this is my time and I want to be alone.

When everything is complete,  I turn off the lights.  With just a lamp on, in the middle of my room, I get on my knees.... and I stay there.   


  I pray and wait.

 I just stay until I feel released to go and do what God has called me to do.  TEACH

This year was special.  I finished right about sunset and I bowed before my Creator, in the middle of  “ Raney's.” ( my classroom),  The sun was setting through the window.  I actually remember asking to be like that light to my students this year.   I got the feeling that somehow, this place was going to be different.  That somehow, I would get to do just that.

I left my classroom, and I began to walk out.  That is when I noticed it.  The school was silent, but the doors I past had teachers in there.  They were all doing what I had just done.


  It was a holy moment.   It still gives me chills.
  I knew this place was different!

 I couldn't have asked for a better first week.  So many moments when I was affirmed over and over again that I was right where I was supposed to be.

 The second week  we started talking about stanines, and benchmarks and colored folders and my eyes began to cross.  I know these things are important, but I was getting overwhelmed.  I started to get bogged down and stressed over lesson plans, materials and stuff.

Stuff, my focus became on what I needed, not what I had.  I have a room full of children that need me---- not teacher's editions and books.   I can't let my children just  be red, blue, or green folders...

                I took my eye off the ball.

Then it started happening,  my prayer, prayed at sunset,... answered in ways I could never have dreamed.

It began with one student whose sister was a week away from having a baby.  She came in and told me that the baby died.  She told me about the pain and heartache of the family.  I hugged her and said.  “ I understand.”   She had no way of knowing  that my sister had a little girl named Rylee who died just like that.  Almost to term, and that stupid blood clot issue we have....  took her away.

It was very clear to me in that moment that I had a choice:

 “Here's your answer Niki.
Did you really mean it when you prayed to be MY light to these kids?
 If you did, then get to it.  If not, get out of the way!”

        Then, Saturday night my phone rang. On the other end was a mountain of a man in tears.   He was crying so hard I could barely understand him.  It was the parent of one of my students calling to tell me that the reason for the kid's absence was that they had found a mass on the mother's brain.  He said that he didn't know if I believed in God or not, but if I did, could I pray for them?
 I said I would,  and I just listened.  I needed to get confirmation in my spirit to proceed.

  He said “ I know you have no way of knowing how scared we are,  I wish someone could understand.”  Even as dense as I can be sometimes,

                         How do you miss that one?

I shared my story of the brain aneurysm  and open skull brain surgery that nearly took my life.  The one several of you witnessed and loved me through.  I was able to give the man hope and comfort.  I was able to share who my Jesus is and was to me.

We stayed on the phone for a while. It was such a blessing for me.

As I hung up the phone, I kept hearing the still small voice saying  “How do you know that it wasn't for this hour you were born?  How do you know that it wasn't for this hour that student was placed in your class?  How do you know that is wasn't for this hour you were assigned to Wacoochee?”

 Dear friends,  God continues to show me that we are not here by accident. We were not shoved here, but placed.  The children in our rooms were given to us because God knows in His infinite wisdom that we are the person that they need.


Let me encourage you in the midst of the busy …...to not miss that.    Because ultimately, each day with each kid,  we can all be part of Esther moments:



                      For how do YOU know
 that it wasn't for this very hour you were born?

                        Esther 4:14